plurality, or multiplicity, is a different view of identity. see, the nonplural person, or a singlet, sees themself as one continuous self with one identity. plural people see themselves differently - as more than one identity or self. some plural people see themselves as a collection of selves and identities, often like multiple people in one brain. other plural people see themselves as a collection of parts making up a single self, often like one person, built up differently.
no matter what, they're more than one in a way that society doesn't acknowledge or prepare for. we have to learn about ourselves through other plural people - our manner, or manners, of existence isn't shown to exist. people will make statements assuming that every single person is one person, without a single drop of doubt. people will assume that common plural experiences are definitively impossible.
this is why it's important for people like us to speak up! to speak and demonstrate our experiences, to fill a gap no one else will fill for us. i'm not saying we can't trust others to be our allies and help, but the brunt of the work is ours. additionally, we have to help non-plural people be our allies, and teach them how we deserve to be treated.
so how is that?
every system differs. some want to be treated as multiple people - use plural pronouns for them, and don't expect one headmate (one of their identities or selves) to be the same as the rest. others have identities that differ less, and others want to be treated more as one person - note that even if someone has identities which don't differ much, they may still prefer being treated more as multiple people, and vice versa.
(as a note - don't take plural people's identities as a silly assertion. we have reasons for identifying as we do, like different genders, dispositions, and opinions. some people's headmates don't really have control over their other headmates, and thus it'd be as unfair to expect them to just 'control' them as you asking someone to just 'control' their brother. plural people really do function differently at times, and it's misguided to treat everybody who's plural the same way as you would treat anyone who isn't.)
the point is - plural people are not a monolith. to treat them well, you should ask them. above all, show us patience!
how can i learn more?
besides my awesome blog? there are a few resources out there. morethanone.info is another explanation of plurality, and has more resources too. pluralpedia has definitions for pretty much any plural term you can think of. sys.guide has a bunch of info about plurality as well, more indepth and less term focused than the previous two, as well as a bunch of letters. additionally, there are a lot of tumblr blogs which talk about plurality, such as @alteredpanel, and i'd bet there's systems on any social media you can throw a stone at.
you can also learn more by just talking to plural people! make some friends, and ask them questions! every system i know is not only okay with, but encourages questions about how they experience plurality! just make sure to be patient and kind.
what does this have to do with you?
i'm a plural system. i am the host, or the person who fronts - takes the forefront in the body and the mind - the most often, and generally takes care of day-to-day responsibilities. this affects every aspect of my life. my others - my headmates, the people in my head, etc - do chores for me, buy snacks with my money, talk to my friends. or, well, it's not 'mine'. we're in life together. acting like i'm not plural, or like i don't function differently than people who aren't plural, has done damage to me in the past, and i'm learning to accept that treating myself like i'm not plural isn't an option.
i am not the same as any other plural person. i use different terms, i think about plurality differently, and my experience is different. don't take this as an attempt to speak for everyone, but as an attempt to speak for myselves! because us plural people, or us systems (a term that's used commonly for what i've been referring to as a 'plural person' - as in a system of identities) need to speak up more, until everyone else has no choice but to accept us.
okay, but what's this specific section gonna be?
i'll just talk about my experiences, big and small, and anything about plurality that i want to remark upon. the experience of being multiple people, and the experience of being none at all. that's why this section's called 'identity & lack thereof' - because the moments you would expect are also accompanied by moments where i don't feel like i have an identity, or my identity is confusing, or hard to reach.